It's not that you are overly judgemental and critical. Points you bring up to support your opinions are usually very well thought out and substantial. In fact, I have to say that I am often convinced by them as they make so much sense. However, as I might have previously said before( i might just have thought it and not vocalised it), sometimes, the trouble with the lot of us is that we do not give people the benefit of a doubt. *We do not have the habit of 'walking in their shoes' as Atticus Finch suggested to Scout, thus not allowing for or tolerating, to a large extent, actions that breach our fundamental concepts of morality, friendships, relationships, etc.

Moreover, we have reached this point whereby we simply speak our minds without actually THINKING of how it would be interpreted, how it would be RECEIVED. The nuances of tone, choice of vocabulary have most of the time been dispensed off. To me at least, to take for granted that your friend KNOWS what you are saying in spite of the tone you are using is foolhardy. So many of us have fallen into this trap. OF COZ i know you want me to do something, of coz i know you don't mean harm or mean to hurt anyone's feelings, of coz i know u would still remain my friend forever, even if u say otherwise. However, what one knows deep inside does get superseded by the immediate message that one receives via the tone used. Reactions would certainly differ accordingly- and that's only human. Multiply this reaction by a few times, and it gets quite scary.

Perhaps, just as Liyi was trying so hard to say yesterday, what we need is a little understanding, a little more open-mindedness, we need to know how to 'heal' and reconcile our respective feelings and perhaps listen more. To listen without a preconceived opinion.

Yesterday, I realised with a jolt that i have been remissed in my duty as a friend, becaused I stopped listening with an open mind to what another was trying to say and didn't attempt to wrought an understanding between 2 individuals. I simply concluded (i think now, erroneously), that I wouldn't have made a difference. Strangely, I suspect the gulf that is visible to me is not as apparent to one of them involved. Time does heal. Just like Liting, I've forgotten why I got so upset. I can't even remember the details. I think it also has to do with the fact that we could see the effort made towards reconcilation. When one looks at it in the macrocosmic scheme of things, it doesn't seem as complicated, as MAJOR. Yes, it is inevitable that someone's feelings get hurt sometimes, but what make friends friends is the effort made towards negating this hurt. Perhaps it's not about who is RIGHT or WRONG, for that is subjective, but about accepting that the other person has her own version of the story, her own right/wrong, explaining your own version and finally accepting that these versions might not coincide, and that a consensus, a compromise, may not reached. 'What are we going to do about it then?' Stop talking, go away, and just let the issue go for a while before thinking about it.Accept the conclusion and do what u have to do.

Yesterday, I learnt a lesson in acceptance.

Liting ask me what I wanted to say about U brooding. It doesn't sound right after I wrote it down.

*I include myself, however some of you might deem yourself enlightened individuals and exclude yourself Anne 8:23 PM 0 comments