Alright, it's official; I'm coming back on the 10th of January 2006.
Which means that I'll most likely miss the 'catching up' BBQ that Liting suggested we have around the 6th.
Or as Anne says it best, 'are we having a BBQ' at all???
1) I finally got myself going for cell group. Sometimes I think I procrastinate too much with regards to church activities.
2) My cousin did well for his exams. This Sec1 boy actually text me to thank me for helping him scored for his exams. I thought it was really sweet of him. I need to get him a present to reward him for his hard work. :)
3) I finally sort out some of my thoughts.
4) I'm having lunch with Wanqing tomorrow afternoon at Amoy Street Food Centre. Will post up the photos of the yummy food for the GoneAways who might be feeling a little homesick.
Sometimes it is the simplest things in life that make me happy.
Suddenly I realised I actually enjoy my status quo now. Feeling comfortable in this temporary break from Waikeong. It's like taking a break for my heart. To love no one in particular. No eye candies. No crushes. Practically No One.
Perhaps I have been attached for too long (Not as long as Qiuyi and FG though), forty and a half months. Perhaps it's the exams that are keeping me preoccupied. Let's see how things go after exams. As God leads :)
I hope I can fall all over in love again.
Argh. Really, please try to be a little discreet with your excitement about Anne going to Seattle. I happen to be feeling extremely alone right now alright?! Need someone familiar to talk to! Someone who understands the complexity and absurdity of Singlish *sigh*
I fluctuate between wanting to go home quite badly and wanting to stay desperately.
Am gradually going quite mad.
Ah. Who would have thought it'll be so hard?
Oh well.
-happy ger-
how come everyone who talk to me think i get excited agitated easily?
HOW TO OPEN MY MOUTH AND TELL HER?:??? anyway she's not at home anyway.... will tell her tmr.
QIUYI n LIYI
I AM COMING TO SEATTLE!!!!!!!1
Yun told me something very enlightening the other day. She say I very easy to bully. Then I am like "Huh?". Oh, pardon the ang moh slang, but its like I am here so much I like somehow got their slang. Anyway, all the while I thought I was the one bullying the whole world, but Yun said, "You think you loud then you win izzit?" OMG. Yah, I thought wrong. No wonder people bully me all the time. Sianz...
Anyway, yah, Annie baby is coming to Seattle to visit! And she gets to go to St Helen's and Vancouver too! Package deal leh!
So when Qiuyi says the BEST Bak Kut Teh (BKT) is homemade on her MSN, I have my dubiously doubtful doubts. So I set out to investigate if it is true. Plus I really felt like eating BKT.
And of course, no investigation is complete without TLT, who is the best breakfast partner, haggler, scary/fierce girl, crowd controller, and arm biter I know. [AND PLEASE TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT HER NEW HAIR, GONEAWAYS.]
Finally we came to the conclusion, without doing any research, that homemade BKT is NOT the best. Because the best BKT is Morning!
see, we even got giam chye just to prove to the goneaways that we could!
Before Qiuyi can lash out on me and how incredibly BO LIAO I am, its also a nice way to meet and catch up with Liting and carry on the FINE weekend breakfast tradition initiated by Dorothy. Afterall, Morning BKT is best eaten like it is called, in the MORNING! I give credits to them before they bite my head off.
Liyi doesn't post so I'm safe and I am Anne's favourite person of the month because I am her inspiration for finding her lost student card and earning her some $$ to go to San
So there. HAHAHA.
People who have expressed interest in this party include
Anne (the initiator who is going to have her ears FINALLY pierced)
Qiuyi (who is going to pierce her ears, together w Fg)
Liting (who has spontaneously volunteered to pierce her ears again)
Who else is interested??? No one is to be excluded! So leave a msg and let's plan this PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. You have 2.5 months to decide *wink*
Today is a crap day. I overslept for my quiz. This is the first time. I have never oversleep for anything that important. In the case if anyone thinks that quizzes aren't that important. My quiz is 15% of the final grade and this is almost equivalent to one question. I jumped out of bed at 0745. I knew I was late because it was just too bright to be early. (I was supposed to wake up at 0610 in order to make it for 0830 lesson. ) It was too late for cab too. It takes almost an hour to reach NTU by cab. Sometimes I wondered why the hell do I stay so far from school?
So I washed up and took a shower. 0800. Should I take a cab which cost $25 (almost a week's allowance) and still be late? In the end, I went clicking at about 50 names to look for a familiar face. Finally, I found my tutor. It's not my fault but I really have no idea what is his name and what department is he from. Click! Found! I sounded really panicky when he picked up the call. Thank God he agreed to have a make up at his office at 0930. I was done with the quiz within 5 minutes while explaining to him what happened in the morning. It was so pressurising. He sat there, stared at me and asked impatiently if I'm done. I didn't even have any chance to check. But I think I'm going to get full marks, provided I didn't tick the wrong answer and he doesn't mark me down for being late. Thank God for the easy paper. But I really studied damn hard for it. Still I feel like crap. How did I oversleep?
Sometimes I think school is really draining out all my energy. ALL. I feel so drained out. So exhausted.
Met up with Tan Yun for lunch and Wanqing for shopping then supper. I was so excited to see Wanqing. I realised I miss her quite alot. The strange thing is that we are in the same school and if I didn't remember wrongly, we met up to have lunch twice in this whole sememster. I haven't met her for 8 days.
It's so good to meet up with friends and really talk. The only person that I constantly have contact with in this week is Rong. We have been studying together at PP Mac. Studying there reminds me of the Good Old Days where things were much simpler. Other than that, I met Tan Yun and Waikeong twice, and once with Wanqing. Feeling a bit lonely over here without the Goneaways.
Suddenly I realised I have so much to say. But there is simply so little time with the people that I want to talk to. And I miss you girls so much!
And Announcement: I am officially taking a month break with Waikeong. No external factors. No third parties involved. It's just problem yet to be resolved between the two of us. We are taking this time to think things through carefully. Stop telling me he's a nice guy. I am as nice too.
I think if I would to have a chance to get a new boyfriend. I should find one with an Ah Beng look. Men who looked decent and nice may not turn out to be so. I met two in my life. And I am very upset with the two of them right now.
There's no one to study with me. Who wants to study with me? Qiuyi, I would love to response to your call for people to study together. And Don't worry about me. I would still study hard for I can't afford to slack. I'm so running out of time.
I just want to be a happy flower in Liting's lala land.
i miss u girls leh
Wanqing! :: in a state of flux. says:
its like previously still can pretend we r all busy so nvr meet up
Wanqing! :: in a state of flux. says:
but now its been too long liao
Qiuyi in UW: where is my baby? says:
hahahha...
Qiuyi in UW: where is my baby? says:
i super miss everyone
[Pregnant pause and then resume shoe shopping]
Wanqing! :: in a state of flux. says:
http://cgi.ebay.com/NIB-Tweed-Suede-Like-Bowknot-Heels-EU36-US5_W0QQitemZ5376158849QQcategoryZ63889QQtcZphotoQQcmdZViewItem
Wanqing! :: in a state of flux. says:
this one nice
i forgot... or rather i miss the dateline to enrol for exams! *wow*... this is the 2nd time i miss the exams... tskz.. i dint forget... i simply put it off... thinking the dateline is 31st.. im gonna waste another half a year... dunno how many more "half a year" do i have..
Change of plan... i thought after i resign, i would juz spend 2 mths studying, take the papers in dec.. and look for a job in jan... but now... im completely lost (again).
Sometimes i juz feel so useless... tskz... i need a goal! I dun even noe wat i wan... haiz.. i cant possibly be dancing forever... dunno if i should really go into accounting... like wat the witch said "u should really think whether u wan to stay in accounts..."
i should start thinking.......
Hell, I'm already planning what to do when I get back. lol. I think i would wanna try and get a single room in Eusoff or Temasek hall. The keyword here is TRY.
Shout out to YUN! out of everyone i think i've lost the most connection with you. You and me and timing... bad. Hopefully all is fine w u ya? I've recently talked to Liting, had a webcam dinner with Qiuyi and talked to Liyi yesterday. I've chatted a little w WQ and Dot too - both who are still watching the drunk videos of me (&^*%)... no sign of ALice n Sze Jia. WQ howz ur foot after seeing the Sinseh? has ur blue black spread? ermmm how u go for classes ah?
Those studying for exams, don't wilt ok? All of us have to be Happy Flowers! I'm trying very hard to be one.
TO YIBIN: I think you are very understanding and sweet;)
Hi Girls :)
Sorry haven't been writing here for some time although I've been writing on my whole blog like mad :P
I suddenly realised that if I'm back home right now, I'll most likely be super mugging for my exams, while at the same time trying to write my millionth term paper of the semester. Am I glad that I'm here *grin*
On the other hand, I am starting to miss home. I think I may be ready to come home at the end of December, contrary to what I previously believe.
Perhaps I should share this with you guys:
Yesterday, I was talking to Yibin via MSN, and telling him that I feel a fever coming on (which is most likely due to my staying out til 5 am the night before in the 4 degrees air). So Boyfriend just told me to go home earlier and sleep because it is most probably due to my lack of sleep that I'm feeling a little woozy.
I don't know what made me do it, but I decided right then that I should at least apologise for the things I've been doing here in Copenhagen (you know). So I did.
And Boyfriend just said, "Don't need la.", and went right back to telling me how to take care of myself (i.e. drink water, sleep earlier, drink tea, don't drink beer for the next few days, don't stay out so late).
Initially, I was okay. I just said goodbye, packed my stuff, and went off to get my bike. But just as I was unlocking my bike, it suddenly strike me how good Boyfriend is to me - and at the same time, how bad I am to him. And I got this real urge to cry because I feel like such a horrible person. The guy said that there's no need for an apology! Can you believe it? If our roles are reversed, and he offered the same thing, I would have think it ridiculous that he thought that a plain apology will suffice. This is how unfairly I've been treating him I guess.
How can I be doing this to him? What is wrong with me?
I've never really dislike myself, but at that moment, I certainly didn't like myself very much.
Was watching the videos that I took when we all made Anne drunk and it made me yearn for all of you back here just so that we can sit down to dinner.
Just some updates about Liting's Life: Boring, boring and even more boring.
Spent most of the days after lessons giving tuition. At least three days, if not four. Giving tuition actually takes up alot of my energy especially when I get so stressed up about the fact that I might not have been thorough in my teaching, that my Cousin would not do well. Sometimes i wonder why do i worry so much about my Cousin when i should be worrying about myself.
Exams are round the corner. And i have NO TIME. No Time. Three more weeks.
Daily lessons till 1630 is draining for me. Breaks in between lessons are my 5 minutes toilet breaks. How pathetic. If i'm lucky, I get to have half an hour lunch with friends. And this happens only once a week. At the end of the day, Liting will be announced brain-dead. With ipod in hand, i just fall asleep immediately i board the train. Don't worry, I have never miss the stop to alight. My eyes open as the door opens at Outram, just in time to squeeze out before the door closes. It's a wonder how the human brain functions. But once, I missed the stop and had to drop a stop later. BECAUSE when the door opened at Outram, i told myself to sleep for one more second, and the next moment when I opened my eyes, the door simply closed on me.
I need more time! More time! And more. The only thing within my means other than studying now is to pray. Not for more time though. For a refreshing mind every morning and that i would pull through everyday.
To the GoneAways, do enjoy yourself! Don't get too stressed up over work. And to the Stayers, i want to meet u girls soon ya. :) Keep each other updated ya!
I LOVE U GIRLS! :)
I don't know, but Alice, you're not the only one exhausted. So am I, in fact. Exhausted with what, I have no idea, seeing that I've been taking it easy with schoolwork, do not have a social life (seeing that I'm sitting in hall typing this out at 11.42pm), and have no boyfriend to lose sleep over.
Must have been the spate of friendship things going on, then. With no rainbow aura of love protecting me, I don't have a distraction to keep my mind sharp from realising that things are pretty much falling apart. Friends are not supposed to be sullen or snappish to each other, yet I realise with increasing tendencies that I've been subjected to such treatment.
So, from here to the 200th post, my goal is love and peace and cordiality all around, regardless of what kind of PMS, moodswings, relationship-affected moods and such.
I think this happy flower is withered and dried, man. I'm on my way to happy flower heaven.
Don't be disheartened! When the going gets tough, itz well, tough. However, when you're down, the only way to go is up! Transitions are always tough and not always very pleasant. However, they are necessary and simply indicate that while one chapter of your life has ended, the next one has just began! It's a long long journey really. Just hang in there!! n i tot u liked hip hop a lot. how come u wanna quit?
Nothing seems to be going right, yah i noe... if i think that way, nothing WILL go right...
i dunno if i did make the right decision to resign... im gonna miss my colleagues lots.. not that i cant meet up w them, but things will be different... haiz... i hate it when they say "Alice, how i wish u r not gonna leave..." Doesnt help making me feel better ya? tskz...
im going mad. Or should i say I AM MAD! *yawnz* =)
Journeyby Corrinne May
It's a long, long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long, long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long, long journey
Till I find my way home to you
Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long, long journey
And I need to be close to you
Sometimes it seems no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?
'Cause it's a long, long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
It's a long, long journey
Till I find my way home to you
There is no "the issue", it seems like in my heart I know its a lost cause. I'm sure things will turn out fine for me and life has moved on. There are goals to achieve, tests to ignore, plans to carry out - and things that do not concern me are afterall, out of my concern sphere and it shall remain that way.
I took the hard way learning this, but after a couple of lessons I feel quite happy with this state of indifference. Guess I'm taking well to apathy. Afterall, when you are indifferent there is no longer any issue left to resolve. (and you look cool at the same time too.)
Dorothy, I agree. I have no idea how things can spiral their way into complexity and while it seems like we have entered this so-called adulthood, our (almost)-newfound status hasn't equipped us with the right skill set to handle whatever is coming our way.
I haven't done an update on my life, but I can safely sum up to say that the general outlook is positive, things are looking up and I am anticipating what the order of the universe has in line for me. I feel self-sufficient, and absolutely do not need someone to attend to my whims and fancies. This state feels great, and at least I'm not insecure or feel responsible for anyone's actions. I hate that feeling.
Hi Girls.
Am feeling a little under the weather, both physically and emotionally.
Think I'm finally getting a little sick. There's only so much rain you can be caught in and so many excessive drinking nights one can have apparantly. And its getting cold. Its amazing because the sky can be a brilliant blue and the sun will be just sparkling (if you get what I mean), and its COLD. Seemingly, it look exactly like this during winter and the temperature will be -15. Shocking.
Then, I'm feeling shitty inside. I think I'm just confused by the complexity of it all. How the hell can it be so complex? :( I'm nearly completely baffled.
Am I a bad person? Please tell me no Girls. I need you to say that.
and just for the record I know that everyone wants me to b happy (that's y we are friends right?) just as i want others to be happy. Anne doesn't do conflict very well. NOT WELL AT ALL. and the guy who manns the com is chasing me off... so TELL ME MORE ABOUTYOUR PROBLEMS YOU ARE DEALING WITH MY DEAR FRIEND QIUYI, I will try and help u w it!!! listening ear on ALert!
Anne, maybe things are not as simple as "I know how you feel therefore I must let you know by showing it in my reaction". Everything nowadays seems much more complicated than cause and effect. It is not as straight forward as I-pinch-you-hard-that-is-why-you-feel-the-pain.
Being the clueless Qiuyi, I assume you are talking about the luggage issue. I felt a little cheated for you, it hurts that we are so far apart that I wasn't able to help you, but what was I to do over the
I can't express myself very well, much less through this. I just want to clarify that I am not pissed or angry and I hope Anne has gotten over her sadness. It just feels right to explain to make her see a better picture. I want her to be happy. I don't know if it will piss her off more and I certainly pray not coz I have enough to deal with already.
Tell me what you think.
Now, I get it. The issue does not have to be big or dramatic. It doesn't even have to be reasonable OR rational. Rationality come eventually (and inevitably), however it should come after the emotions have been soothed. Most of the time, the individual herself might already know what is right/wrong, what should be/should not be, what is reasonable/unreasonable, who's fault it is, who's to blame. But emotions are not always in sync with rationality. That is why we seperate the 'wisdom of the heart' and the 'wisdom of the mind'(ref to Hard Times, Charles Dickens)
I was talking to Qiuyi and Liyi about a matter and I knew who was being unreasonable(me!) but the presence of rationality and the lack of the 'appropriate'amt of reaction really got me down. As though they weren't on my side. Of coz i know they were. but the reaction (or the lack of- complete silence) was really really sad, as though they didn't understand how I REALLY felt (although just like me to u, I claimed i understood). I guess one cannot EXPECT that someone who didn't experience the same thing to feel the same way, and rationally, I understand and accept that. Nonetheless, like you, I am entitled to my feelings and my choice of feeling how I feel. Does it always have to be reasonable? For once in my life, WHY can't I be unreasonable?
Another thing, are we becoming so cynical that we don't get shocked or exhibit any reaction over issues like subtle racism etc? itz as though we are just accepting it and simply verbally condemming it, and thatz it, end of story. Should that be enough? 'what else can we do?' might b the response. Debuse them of this notion, of their ignorance? I'll sleep more on it.
On a brighter note, I want a chalet! and I've been hit by the biggest wave of homesickness ever. I dreamt of my mom and cried in my sleep. Need to call them soon. Gwen, Siying n Aishah sent me a video clip shot on Gwen's birthday. I almost cried too. I received an email from my dad today, I almost cried too. The only reason I didn't has to do with Decorum. I was in a public place.
Shall we have a chalet when you girls are back? Mark it on your calender, 6th-8th of Jan 2006? But i'm afraid i'm not booking it. Liyi shall be the Chosen One. So get her to get her mum to book? We can then have 3 days 2 nights of catching up. The Men can do the stuff. :)
I love u girls!
Hello girls :) I'm back from the weekend trip. Had a wonderful time, although it did rain the whole of the second day which means that we're trapped indoors and I spent most of the time snoozing :P Still, for some reason, I'm not too irked by it. Must be the pig in me.
If there can be such a thing, I've had too much alcohol. It's almost like free flow (at least for me because only I think the drinks are cheap - the Europeans thinks its normal. Damn, imagine the amount of taxes we pay for alchohol...). And then there's wine, Russian vodka, some Brazilian drink which is really hot and random other stuff that I can't remember now.
Shit, maybe I'm really becoming an alcoholic. The horror.
just as I promised, the most APT work of art in response to Eugene's trick on Liting!