Monday, November 07, 2005
Just reconnected after a week of revision and I'm catching up on the entries.Shoutouts to the Goneaways! and after the weekend's incidents I'm giving moderator rights to everyone.
Now, about the Singapore Girls:
1. Yes I haven't seen Yun for ages, and does Szejia even know about this blog? I saw Alice briefly last week though. This has to be because after all of you left, I only met up with 3/4 of the girls 6 weeks ago for Carl's Junior. And horrors of horrors, that was the only group meeting we did after the last sending off.
The problem is not that we were all busy with meeting up, but it has to be that no one is taking initiative to organise anything. It used to be Liting and Anne, but Liting is taking 10 modules this sem, which is more than what I took this entire year, and Anne is obviously abroad. But i think if we force her she would organise it through internet SMS and MSNing, and succeed at it too.
2. Yun + Me = Disappointment/Misunderstanding?
You can call it all a misunderstanding, but I don't think I am misunderstood because it seems quite clear to me that everyone knows my stand. But as Qiuyi says, the situation is difficult and seems quite imposssible to solve.
Yes I am unhappy with Yun, not because she got together with Jude, because that is free will. I have long given up on worying about anyone's choices, because I learnt not to - Liyi and Alex, Yun and Jude has made me feel apathetic towards Qiuyi and Fongguan's breakup, which I would have fret over and possibly lost some sleep on before. We're all old enough to choose what we think we want now, be it if it is really good for you in the long run or not.
But, I am unhappy with Yun because of the way she handled the situation. Firstly, she didn't tell me anything about Jude at all, not even after they got together. And even when I heard from Qiuyi and Liting, I didn't really get any explanation or word from her, which as a friend, I expected to get. I needed an explanation from her not because getting together with Jude was WRONG; all I expected was some clarification on how she felt, because as a close friend I want to know why, how, where, when. Which is what I would provide if I was in her position; I would sit all of you down, on MSN or around a marche table, to spill the beans and await some questions.
After barely a week from that, with my accidental stumbling across Jude's blog, I told her about it. Yes I did get an SMS apology from Jude, but I did not need that and I stated specifically to her that it wouldn't help the matter. She called or MSNed (i can't remember) to say that it wasn't about me, which to date I disbelieve. I expressed that to her but even today, I still felt that she simply sided a new boyfriend rather than listen or call or meet me to clarify my side of the story. There was no urgency to let me see what she saw, explicit explanation, or frantic behaviour. After that day, she just left it as that. To her credit, it wouldn't make much difference even if she explained, I will still never believe Jude.
So why "stranger" treatment for Yun? Its not on purpose, but on the two occasions I saw her, I just really did not feel like speaking to Yun. Maybe out of disappointment? To tell the truth I've never felt more disappointed in a friend before.
But for Yun, just feeling lost, hurt, and helpless is not helping anything. Neither is listening to your boyfriend, for that matter. Because things are really bleak now. I may expect too much for a friend, but when it comes to misunderstandings and problems, I expect from you what I would do in your place. Is that too much? Because if my expectations are wrong or too high, then it spells that there is a disparity between the treatment of friendship in the first place.
On the positive side, I feel really happy for Yun that she is happy in her relationship, because I expected her not to be.
So, actually, I think Liting is right. That no one should take a back seat in friendship.