Monday, November 07, 2005
Anne:It isn't that i don't want to explain. First, regarding all that previous stuff, i wasn't given a chance to. Even when explanation was given, it just went straight out the door.
Recently, I've had problems with my internet connection and the only time i had on internet i had to rush my projects. Okay, not important. Here's your explanation.
Wanqing:
You expected me to talk to you when you "found out" that I got together with Jude. But if you've forgotten, I tried a few times but you said "forget it. since you don't want to say then don't say", "I don't want to talk about it. It's your choice." etc. Do you expect me to push it down your throat when i already know you are already feeling unhappy about it? And it's not that I didn't want to tell you, I just haven't told you and you heard about it before I could have the chance to tell u.
About Jude's blog entry. Once again, I did try to talk to you afterwards but you told me, "don't bother, it's not going to help" Then you logged off. I did try but each time but u dismiss the topic. How do you expect me to talk to you about it when you did that? Oh and you did say yourself you treated me like a stranger when we met up. I wanted to explain to you but how would I dare to when you were so obviously upset?
And what can I say when, i quote, "To her credit, it wouldn't make much difference even if she explained, I will still never believe Jude. " do you see what position i am in?
I was frantic about it. Trust me. I had sleepless nights over it. Ask them. You just weren't there to see it. And I did not once take side. I tried explaining both sides to both party. And, I was later told by some people to just let everythign cool down, don't talk about it. Apparently it backfired.
Liting:
I did try to arrange meetings with you guys. But you guys were not free, and later on, I wasn't even sure whether my presence was welcomed when I realised that you guys are meeting up and didn't ask me along. I msged you to ask you what you were doing, and found out that you guys arranged to meet up. And there were alot of occasions where i read about you guys going out on the blog and i wasn't ask. What was i to conclude out of that? That you guys were waiting for me to meet up? With the stranger treatment, you think I dare to ask you guys out? You think I'm made of wood and don't feel nothing about it? That I won't feel hurt?
You said a few SMSs were not enought. Yes I agree, but because I wasn't meeting up with you guys, I made the effort to SMS u guys to see how u guys were doing. Eventhough sometimes i get patronizing replies.
Why ask me to explain stuff if you are not going to believe me or even hear it with an open mind? You said Jude was there. But he was at ECP Macs, I was at the McCafe. He wasn't reading our conversation cos he wasn't with me. Talk about trust lacking.
And why is it that if jude's around when i'm meeting you i cease to become your fren and become jude's girlfriend? I wanted to study, do work. Jude told me you guys were studying at PP macs so we went there. Seriously, do u think we would have to travel there if i just needed to study. I can just do it at ECP macs.
PS: I know this will stir up another beehive cos everyone has different views and expectations. But here it is. At least this is what I think. If you think that that shouldn't have made me feel that way, I'm sorry, but it did.