Sunday, December 11, 2005
When I am alone, I think about alot of things. Random thoughts: escape routes if bus/train/hse catch fire, what to do if I bump into a snatch thief, things to buy... blah. So while I was showering just now, I thought of my earlier conversation with Anne. It was about expectations. Friends commented that I have very high expectations in general. I totally agree with that. When someone makes a statement (it can be as simple as," We can study together for exams."), I take it to heart especially when I consider you as important. To me, it's almost like a promise. So I get really affected if it doesn't happen as I expected it too. It doesn't cross my mind that the statement is suggestive and might not happen. It really doesn't. But Anne says not all people mean exactly what they say, as in they don't say what they feel. It is simply positive politeness. I don't understand. I really don't. I cannot make myself think in such a way that when friends make a statement, it can be 1) they really mean it, 2) they mean it but doesn't have the ability to carry through or 3) they don't mean it at all. How can there be no expectations? Perhaps like Rong says," Take it easy and don't care so much."
Does anyone of you has this problem that I have?
But I have learnt to realise and am still learning to accept that:
1) What is important to you might not be important to others.
2) What you will do for others might not be what they want to do for you.
3) Others might not reciprocate in the same way you feel for them.
4) Comments (even if it's of good will) made might not be appreciated. Sometimes it is best not to say anything.
I think the last point is the hardest for me. Aren't friends supposed to keep each other grounded and point out what they see as wrong from the view of an outsider?